Jay Mariotti – The Curse of the Douche Bag for the Chicago White Sox
by Jerod Morris
As I was writing my playoff scenario post this morning, and thinking about how poorly the White Sox have played in September, it got me thinking: is Jay Mariotti the reason?
You have to understand, I hate Jay Mariotti. He is the definition of a douche bag and I was ecstatic when he left the Sun-Times, so much so that I thought the city of Chicago should have thrown a parade in celebration of such a momentous occasion of civic good fortune. But did Jay Mariotti leave one last flaming bag of dog shit on the doorstep of U.S. Cellular Field before leaving the Windy City?
What the hell am I talking about? Well, look at the numbers:
The announcement of Jay Mariotti’s departure from the Sun-Times hit the Internet on August 27th. On that day, the White Sox went into their game against the Baltimore Orioles with a record of 76-56. We were in first place, feeling good, playing well, and looking like a team that could play deep into October. Later that evening, the White Sox were shellacked by the Baltimore Orioles 11-3. Carlos Quentin had been given a day off, but had not yet been lost for the season. Since August 27th, the White Sox are 10-18, have seen certain AL MVP Carlos Quentin be lost for the year as a result of a freak accident, have lost five in a row at the end of September to fall 1/2 game behind Minnesota, and have seen a once harmonious locker room turn into a high-anxiety, low chemistry place where belief, confidence, and cameraderie seem to dwindle by the day.
I wrote a post about this week being the determining factor as to whether or not I retire the Jim Thome Curse that I feel has plagued the White Sox since Thome’s arrival and the jettisoning of Aaron Rowand after the 2005 World Series title. But now that I delve deeper into the reasons for our September collapse, it is becoming more clear that The Curse of the Douche Bag may be the more nefarious culprit for our swoon. Jay Mariotti cursed Chicago sports on a daily basis for years as a Sun-Time columnist. Now that he is gone, it seems that he has continued to curse his most hated rival – Ozzie Guillen – with some sort of evil witchcraft that has left our South Siders reeling.
Well damnit White Sox, we cannot give King Douche Bag the satisfaction of being able to watch our season spiral down toilet in a depressing September flush. Mark Buehrle has the opportunity to step up today and provide a huge boost in the quest to end The Curse of the Douche Bag and the Jim Thome Curse. Somehow, despite our poor play in September, we still control our own destiny. We can win today, beat Detroit, and then get one more game against Minnesota at home to make the playoffs. It’s getting harder by the day, but I still believe.
The question is, do the White Sox? I think they do…and there is no way The Curse of the Douche Bag will keep us from playing October baseball.
Tags: chicago, Chicago White Sox, Douche Bag, jay mariotti, jim thome
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[...] Mark Buehrle stepped up, and stepped up big. And in the process, he just may have helped the Chicago White Sox escape the vicious grip of The Curse of the Douche Bag. [...]
That picture is incredible. Mariotti saw the prints of those and was in love with himself and definitely mails the women of chicago signed 8/10 glossies. I want one in poster form.
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I want that picture big enough to put on my garage door.
I thought Thome was the curse?
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KVB, unfortunately the Sox are battling both curses. But assuming we win today, I will be officially ready to claim an end to both the Jim Thome Curse and the Curse of the Douche Bag.
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