7 Reasons to Hate the Indianapolis Colts

By: Nicholas Gerlach

I generally enjoy living in Indianapolis. The people are fairly nice. There are 3 or 4 attractive girls in the city and I know my way around by now. But, there is one thing I simply cannot enjoy the Indianapolis Colts.

Here is a touchdown and extra points worth of reasons why:

1. Colts Fans: Easily the most fair-weather fans I have ever come across. I remember going to Colts games incolts fan and dog the early nineties in which half the stadium consisted of fans for the other team. Also, Colts fans are almost always complete pussies. Here is a story: Eric Metcalf had just broke out for his usual 50 yard plus TD run to open up the first drive of the game against Indy. Of course, I was celebrating my ass off. The Colts fans wife behind me said, “Sit down my husband is trying to enjoy the game and you’re taunting him okay.”  That’s cool you don’t like it but why couldn’t the guy stand up for himself? I WAS 12 YEARS OLD!!!

Colts fans will often look at you in disbelief when you tell them there was a team in Indy before 1999. Well, Colts fans, there was and they were absolutely atrocious. But you didn’t care until they started winning. It is pretty hard to find a Colts fan who knows who Jack Trudeau is (and not just because he serves alcohol to minors).


2. The Irsay Family: They gutlessly moved the team in middle of night in 1984, robbing one of the best football cities in colts movingthe league of their favorite team. Johnny Unitas still referred to himself as a Baltimore Colt until the day he died and even put it in his will. At least when Art Modell moved the Browns he had the decency to let them keep their awesome name and sweet color scheme. This move set the precedent for dickhead owners to pull moves like this.

3. You are a Baltimore fan: As a Browns fan I hate you sure. But, I also feel your pain because I too know the pain of being robbed of my favorite football team. At least the Cleveland franchise moved to a city who had heard of football before. (Did you know that they had to move the first ever Colts game in the dome to 3 p.m. from 1 p.m. because they had to allow for people to get out of church in Indianapolis and a lot of the fans showed up in suits and ties to the game?…WTF!!…Football is church!!!)

4. You are a Cleveland Browns fan: Indy takes the Colts, Baltimore takes the Browns who’s really to blame here? (see number 2)

5. They play inside: Don’t kid yourself Peyton Manning is going to complain and have the roof closed on Lucas Oil stadium every time there is a drop of rain or even a little bit of wind what a crybaby pussy.

6. You are a New England Patriots fan: Is it really a rivalry?….really? The Colts have won 4 of the last 11 meetings between these two clubs. They have only beaten the Patriots once in the playoffs, and that took a miracle comeback. The Patriots have won every other playoff match up. That is, when the Colts could even get far enough in the playoffs to play the Patriots.

New England: 3 Super Bowl Championships; 4 AFC Championships

Indianapolis: 1 Super Bowl Championship; 1 AFC Championship

That’s not a rivalry…that’s an ass-beating.

pink jerseys

7. And finally, Female Colts Fans: Nothing says fall in Indianapolis like pink Manning jerseys and jean shorts kill me.  I think Russell knows what I’m talking about.

So can anyone think of any other reasons to hate the Colts?



About Nicholas Gerlach

Comments

  1. “Female Colts Fans: Nothing says fall in Indianapolis like pink Manning jerseys and jean shorts….kill me.”

    This is the greatest line that has been written on Midwest Sports Fans thus far, and quite possible the greatest line ever written anywhere in the history of mankind.

    Thank you for not going any further with the mental image.

    Reason #8: Mike Vanderjagt played for them.

    Reason #9: The stupid phrase “Go Horse.” I want to impale myself with a horseshoe every time I hear or see that.

  2. Absolutely. That should have been a countdown to number one like Letterman….then again his number one’s always suck and that was perfect.

    #10: Peyton Manning was a fag in college and Colts fans know it. Nobody in Indianapolis was rooting for Peyton to win any championships or Heismans, which he didn’t. Which correlates to everyone rooting for a loser like Mike Hart to make the team. He is solid and will though.

  3. Illinifan91 says:

    Personally i hate the colts just for the fact that they beat the Chicago Bears in the Super Bowl. Also the fact that after the beat down i had to hear shit from my friend who was a colts fan that year. Well this kid was also a Steelers fan the year before, and he liked the Raiders before that. Nothing is worse then having to hear it from a kid who just picks the best team as his favorite team, give me a break.

  4. Aight well I wont disagree that the Colts are pretty lame, Tom Brady is by far the biggest tool in the league.

    Wow, he looks like he is trying to molest you and solve a math problem at the same time

  5. ^^^^ Dang you cant post pictures, so here is the link
    http://llnw.image.cbslocal.com/28/2008/01/10/370×278/BradyMovadoAd.jpg

  6. Nicholas Gerlach says:

    Illinifan91: That seems to be a running trend with Colts fans. I can’t tell you how many Colts fans I’ve run across that were 49ers or Cowboys fans in the 90′s…it’s ridiculous.

    TheNunn: While Tom Brady is a tool for going to Michigan. There is proof that he has bagged Bridget Moynahan and Giselle Bunchen.

    Tom Brady > Peyton Manning

  7. All I have to say is that the picture of the guy with his dog made me laugh harder than anything else this week. That guy is a tool.

  8. Nick, great post. Colts Suck, Hoosiers Swallow. Jim Brown hold records for decades, Manning holds them for months…and then cries because he as a “touch of the downs”.

  9. Josh Morris says:

    Great article. Indiana has never been and never will be a football state. Aside from IU football’s atrocities they have enough trouble supporting their basketball-saviness, especially when the Pacers keep losing every year and Sampson spills his mess on the IU basketball program.

    That picture of the dude with his dog…my first inclination was that Nico had totally become a tool and stolen rebel to pose as a turd.

  10. Nicholas Gerlach says:

    Indiana is really starting to lose their credibility as a basketball state. The Pacers had the lowest average attendance in the NBA last year. I know that they were hard to watch and had a rough patch for a couple of years…but I can’t believe that basketball fans in Indiana wouldn’t want to see basketball played at the pro level…even if it’s by the visiting team.

    Plus, they should never have lower attendance than cities like Charlotte, Memphis and especially Atlanta…who has a notoriously apathetic fan base.

    Really… if you think about… it Indiana is an auto racing state. The 500 is the biggest single-day sporting event in the world and they host the Brickyard and Drag Racing nationals which do very well.

  11. It’s sad but true. I’m really shocked at how Indy responded to the downturn by the Pacers, but I think the retirement of Reggie and the succession of run-ins with the law really didn’t sit well with the conservative fans base of Indy. Their fans will come back as they improve and increase the overall character of the team…but still. If Indiana truly is a “basketball state” the support would be more unconditional.

    Where Indy and Indiana as a whole is great is supporting amateur sports…at least as much as college athletics can be defined as “amateur.” The college teams and high schools (especially in baseketball) enjoy a great deal of support.

    As far as professional teams go, Indy only supports a winner. And that is the definition of fair-weather.

  12. Reason #11: They re-signed WR/TE Brian Fletcher after the season and then released him after the draft. I may only say this because I’ve met him and he is a great guy but he also came up big in the playoffs during their Super Bowl run and was the leading receiver during the regular season game @ San Diego in 2007 after Marvin and Dallas Clark went down. They even gave TE Utecht the heave-ho and still decided to go with the draft. Replaced with rookies with no ring and a little cheaper salary? The Colts don’t deserve a great guy like him.

    Factoid! Did you know BFletch did Archie Griffin’s voice in this cartoon?

    http://www.youtube.com/v/luXiwWFjLMQ&hl=en&fs=1

  13. I agree. The Colts deserve much hate for the release of Brian Fletcher. Any updates on if he is in any camps currently?

    Screw putting a link in the comments though…create a post and embed the video.

  14. Bryan Fletcher, spelled like my brother’s first name but i just realized this looking to see if he has been involved in any NFL transactions. None at the moment but i will post a blog when it happens and have Davey give him a call for any sort of update. The Rams should sign him since McMichael is a tool at TE and they lost Issac Bruce, plus Bryan is from St. Louis.

    I guess I can see a large commitment to the running game from the Rams this year. If you think Stephen Jackson isn’t worth a top 5 fantasy pick you are going to be disappointed. I think that was part of Jackson’s hold out reason because he knew that now more than ever Linehan will make the Rams a run first team as long as Pace is healthy all year.

  15. Scott Linehan makes Rich Kotite look like a competent head coach.

    KVB…I kid, because I care.

    Huge pet peeve: fantasy football writers who refer to Stephen Jackson as “SJax”. I don’t know why that makes me want to bang my head against a wall, but it does. It’s more efficient…just ridiculously annoying. Kinda like Josh Lewin, the former Cubs and current Rangers announcer.

  16. Mr. WhoHitYa says:

    Okay, I understand that Indy has a few fair weather fans that water down the passion for sports here, and I understand that Peyton Manning is a little bland, but Indy is a great sports city! The Pacers are having a few rough years, but before that had a stretch where they went 16 of 18 years of making the playoffs. Who else does that? A few years before they went to the NBA they won 3 ABA Championships. The reason for the fan drop off is due to the behavior of the players off the floor. Indiana understands it’s basketball, and will not stand for guys who would rather get into a shootout at the strip club then work on their jumper. (I’m talking to you Tinsley!!!) A change had to be made and, although I can’t agree with the trading of Al Harrington and Steven Jackson for alter boys Dunleavy and Murphy, they are making steps in the right direction. It doesn’t help them win ball games, but the fans will come to the game and support guys who don’t get in trouble and are happy enough with having a great job playing basketball in an awesome basketball state.

    I do have to admit that IU basketball is a little overhyped. We love it here, but their success has nothing to do with “tradition”, but owes everything to a certain Robert Montgomery Knight. God bless him. Should’ve never, never, let him go. Go Texas Tech!! If you really want to see what “Hoosier Hysteria” is all about, go to a high school basketball game. There’s nothing like walking into the gym during sectionals and feeling the energy in the air. You don’t get that in the NBA. And of late, there has been no lack of talent in the Indy area, as we have watched Greg Oden, Eric Gordon, Mike Conley, Dominick James, and many others play their high school careers here. And that’s just recently.

    Now to Colts Football. I know, I know, they left Baltimore…dirty style. But what can I do about that? I’ve enjoyed watching the Colts build a franchise here. And we didn’t just now get good. I remember watching Jim Harbaugh and Marshall Faulk in the playoffs in the early to mid-90′s. Sure, no Super Bowls were won, but was anybody going to beat the Niners or Cowboys then?? Oh yeah, and there was a certain AFC Championship against the Steelers that the refs robbed us of a victory. So there was at least one time that we should’ve been in the Super Bowl. Not horrible considering the talent disparity between the two teams. We were an overachieving team then, and I think that most people in Indy hate the Colts now because they are sick of what they see as an underachieving team, which I can somewhat agree with. But I don’t see it as disappointment, just tough breaks. There are a lot of good teams in the league of late, and only one team can win it. We’ve consistently made the playoffs in the salary cap era, which is impressive in my mind. We have a great team that has been put together in an era where no one can resign anybody, and the Colts have built this great team through the draft, not the free agent market. Let’s look at the Colts 1st round draft history in order since 1994: Marshall Faulk, Ellis Johnson, Marvin Harrison, Tarik Glenn, Peyton Manning, Edgerrin James, Rob Morris (can’t get ‘em all right!), Reggie Wayne, Dwight Freeney, Dallas Clark, Bob Sanders, Marlin Jackson, Joseph Addai, and Anthony Gonzalez. Give me one team that has done better in the draft. Please, do it. It just proves that Bill Polian is the best GM in the business, and Tony Dungy develops defensive talent as well as any coach I’ve ever seen. Even late round picks Robert Mathis and Cato June are considered very good players. Thanks, Mr. Dungy!!

    So I know there are some haters out there, but I will always stick behind my beloved Colts, Pacers, and Hoosiers, no matter what the circumstances.

    P.S. Who’s this guy talkin bad about the Colts, a Browns fan?! Have they even made the playoffs in the last 25 years?? I forgot they even had a team!

  17. First off, you win the award (no prize, just recognition) for posting the longest and most well reasoned comment ever on Midwest Sports Fans. Congrats.

    I agree with you on the Pacers. I think that Indy will always support a basketball team that is worthy of support; and character and integrity of the players plays into that. As they get it turned around and fans can be proud of the team win or lose, the support will come back. Obviously the hype and frenzy will be much stronger with a winner, but the support will be more consistent once the knuckleheads are gone.

    As a lifelong Indiana Hoosiers basketball zealot, I probably cannot speak objectively about whether they are overhyped or not. I will say this though: IU basketball hype is not even close to being solely a function of Bob Knight. We had two national titles and had developed a strong tradition before the era of The General. Now, obviously, he built upon than tradition and took IU bball to the next level. But with our without him, Indiana is a basketball state and the Hoosiers are the only team in the state that has actually won championships. So they would be hyped and have a big following even without the 29 exciting years of Bob Knight.

    And the Colts? This is where the city of Indianapolis will be tested in regards to their support. This is an aging team that is starting to fall off. Bill Polian will need to executive a major facelift to keep them competitive into the next decade. I have my doubts about how supportive Indy fans will be if the team becomes a 6-10 to 8-8 team. No doubt they will support a team that cruises to 12 wins every year and has one of the five biggest superstars in the NFL at QB. What about after the Peyton Manning era? Remember the time before the Manning era? The support wasn’t nearly what it is now. If Indy fans continue to support the team when they inevitably struggle again, I will give them some credit. Until then, I’m skeptical.

    Thanks for the comment Mr. WhoHitYa. Conversation and interaction is what makes keeping this blog entertaining.

  18. Nicholas Gerlach says:

    Well, the Colts are now 3-4 on the year and it looks like the best they can hope for is a wild card berth. They are down four games to the Titans with 9 games left.

    I guess that this will cause a surge in Pacers season ticket sales and Meridian street will be riddles with the bodies of people that are falling off the Colts bandwagon.

  19. most colts fans were bears fans until the colts started to win with peyton manning…their fans suck big time. went to one game and all these old white people (i’m white) kept telling me to sit down. too bad it was the bears putting a beat down on them in the brand new opening of their crappy new stadium. grow a pair and go back to being a bears fans. no one tells you to sit down at those games…they yell at you for sitting down. weak ass fans. only team i know that has >80

  20. dan begley says:

    Ok dudes i hate u f**kn haters. Colts colts rule and this dude tht is hating on the colts could go back to his mommas house

    • lol
      Dan Begley is a Colts fan! Excuse me, a "Colts colts" fan.
      Point at Dan in his pink jersey and laugh, children.

      • Well said Andy!
        Although I don’t know how you could argue with his compelling arguement… Oh wait, he doesn’t know enough about football to make an intelligent arguement.

        IN is a Basketball state, and as much as they want to bandwaggon and pretend that they know about football, they don’t a tight end from an End Zone. And any fan who Boo’s when an opposing player gets hurt deserves to be dragged out to the curb and beaten.

  21. Steve Mitchell says:

    That is the greatest article ever written! Not only did the 3-4 cute Indy girls cut like a knife but every point was valid. I always hated the colts growing up and I still remember most of their old players and the “true fans” couldn’t even name past decent players. Any decent player back in the day left ASAP in Free Agency. Getting to the point what I can add is the countless fuckin hoosiers naming their kids Peyton. This is NOT a football town.

  22. As a fellow Hoosier and a hater of the Colts #1 & #2 are reason enough. I bet you 99.9 % of the fans couldn't name one Colts player who ISN'T Peyton Manning. Fair weather for sure!

  23. I'd love for you to have the guts to say all this garbage to a Colts fan. Hiding anonymously (does ANYONE have any idea who nick gerlach is?) behind your crappy blog ripping people is stunningly cowardly.

    Please feel free to use my email to get in touch. I'd be more than happy to meet you downtown and have you say this stuff to my face.

    Punk.

    • He does and a Colts (i.e. redneck) fan did the same thing, challenged him to a fight. Hiding? Nick Gerlach is his actual name so your anonymous accusation is stupid.

      I will meet you with him next to the swings on the playground if you want to wrestle…."Sam" get a clue you are the anonymous one. Not Nick. You are a moron.

    • NIcholasGErlach says:

      In what way am I anonymous? I say these things to Colts fans all the time.

      It’s not my fault your fan base is 70% full of entitled pricks who don’t even appreciate what they have. Your team is amazing…your fan base is tepid at best considering what they have.

  24. the Colts are boring even when they win, and having to suffer through a million more ads with Manning in them …. yikes!

    • Colts are the most interesting team ever! They comeback in every game in a dramatic way. So idk wat your talking about

  25. Cryptic NAVY says:

    I like how everyone is making assumptions about things they know nothing about, If you ask anyone my age 23 about old colts players of course they are going to have trouble saying people other than manning, i mean i didn't really get into the NFL until around 2000 though i started watching in 97, so it wasn't anything to do with maniing (Jim Harbaugh and Marshal Faulk both played for the colts, Edgerrin James though that is easy, i do not remember many more than that though i was around 8 when i watched my first game and I do not remember every player. Most colts fans I know switched from bears to colts long before manning showed up. Alot of you people are Texans, Titans, Jag fans who are annoyed your team lost alot, I understand I hated the Patriots for the same reason, (though now that they cheated , i just feel sorry for them) THEY DID CHEAT! They won their superbowls but cheated their way there or at least bellicheck did, Brady and the other players are amazing athletes who got jipped cause their coach wasa coniving bastard. Anyway Go Colts! SUPERBOWLS VS SAINTS! Saints is my 2nd fav team, (I just liked their color scheme ehen i was little)

    • "Most colts fans I know switched from bears to colts long before manning showed up."

      That right there shows you how annoying "most" Colts fans are.

    • Wow, you said it all right here: "Saints is my 2nd fav team, (I just liked their color scheme ehen i was little)"

      If you are a football fan, you have 1 team, don't hedge your bets by choosing another team and try to rationalize why you like them! Colors have nothing to do with it. I bet you were a HUGE Cardinals fan last year because there was a cardinal in your back yard once. I'm sure now thet the colts got their "butts" handed to them by the saints, you have already ordered your Drew Brees Jersey. BTW, great grammar, and way to spell!

    • If you still want to believe that they cheated, What happened the next yaer after Rat Mangini told the Commisioner that they filmed from the sideline. Even though its allowed to film from the end zone area? This is what happened the next year you simple minded hick- The Patriots went 18 – 0 and went to the superbowl but lost to the Giants by one play. Did they cheat that year too. Dumb ass…….

  26. Carl Jones says:

    i hate colts fans and i live in indiana…they are so fair weather and dont realize that there are other teams in the NFL besides the colts…they bitch and find excuses when they lose and when they win they rub it in your face and brag that they are the best thing since god

  27. You will find a lot of people on this site who agree, no doubt.

  28. Agreed Carl. Especially about being fair weather and not realizing that there are other teams in the NFL. I live in Indy and will describe how the Browns or Raiders actually have some of the best, most loyal fans in the NFL. A good example is Jerod attending Brown's Backers events in Dallas (America's Team) of all places. I attended one and was convinced.

    Anyway, that said when I describe such things, Colts fans laugh out loud and just run their mouths about how bad the Browns or Raiders are this season. Of course it is laughable to you Colts fans, you didn't root for "your team" until Manning showed up.

  29. Sean Burton says:

    Perhaps you should find better things to do with your time. Let’s go through your reasons individually…

    1) Fair-weather fans exist for all 32 NFL teams. It’s out there in every NFL city. Even Pittsburgh, who has a season ticket waiting list of about six years and some of the best fans in the NFL, has a fair-weather nation! Is it annoying? YES!!! Is it a reason to hate the team? Really? Because that’s mildly retarded! True story!

    2) Read a history lesson cheif! The Irsay family dealt with the state of Maryland for 13 years on issues with Memorial Stadium. Yes, that dates back to 1971 when Carroll Rosenbloom, not the Irsay family, owned the Colts. In 1974 Maryland passed an act called Question P, declaring Memorial Stadium a war memorial and NOT to be updated for either the Colts or the Orioles. Maryland legislature wanted nothing to do with funding stadium upgrades and I’m not sure that there is a team out there that wouldn’t do the same thing! Outside of that, I don’t care if Jim Irsay is a dick! I’m not sure why I should…

    3) This reason is dumb, and not worthy of comment! Just stupid! Go play in traffic!

    (Continues in the next comment)

  30. Sean Burton says:

    3) This reason is dumb, and not worthy of comment! Just stupid! Go play in traffic!

    4) Did you write 3 and 4 to fill space so you would have 7? Thus making the number of reasons the same number as a touchdown and PAT! So clever man! Way cool! Again…go play in traffic!

    5) This is really getting rediculous! They play inside? You're right…they're the only team! Newsflash…playing inside brought a Super Bowl to Indianapolis! That doesn't suck!

    6) You should probably go ahead and hate Patriots fans too for this one! Oh…and every sports network out there! I'm pretty sure this matchup is ALWAYS on prime time TV and I'm pretty sure BOTH teams identify this game as a rivalry! Is it heavy to New England's side? Sure, (As you noted matchup stats in your blog which may be the only bright thing you've managed to say throughout the entire article) but it's still a big one for both teams and fans of both teams! Even SNF called it the "Rivalry Of The Decade".

    (Continues in the next comment)

  31. Sean Burton says:

    7) They make pink jerseys for every team douchebag! Really? And jean shorts are quite the phenominon throughout the country! (Sarastic but unfortunately true) You may be a complete idiot!

    Lets just sum it up by saying that you are clearly an Indy resident that is not a Colts fan! On top of that, you are a complete hater and a waste of a sports blogger! You are saying things that suggest Colts fans are the only fans who do this stuff? Your time may be better spent playing video games and hating girls that won't f*ck you! You could even form a club called "Hater Nation"! And you can do things like hate Peyton Manning because he is one of the best ever! Or maybe you can find other good teams to hate on! I always love reading these articles written with zero substance!

    Bottom line…be smart and write an article called "7 reasons the Colts are choke artists"! That may be closer to the truth! This stuff right here…is weak! Try again loser!

  32. bob mackey says:

    You're mad about something that happened 26 years ago and you're calling someone else a puss? Hmm Get over it, pussy.

  33. colts are pussies 100 percent agree go patroits and faggot manning learn to grow up and quite crying u big puss

  34. Austin collie fan says:

    Really i am a die hard colts fan 1 off why the fuck did you make this if you hate them and 2 Every team has pink 3 peyton manning is the best qb out there not saying that beacuse im a colts fan and 4 We as in the colts fans are ln know for being the best fans not boooing at the others or yelling and yea you would be piss off to if somebody was in your way when you was watching a game you payed for …that what i throught i could on but no i bet with every one hate i could tell you 2 great things about them o and did i forget to tell you that we been in 21 out of the 24 playoffs as the indy colts ummm yea that right ……. P.S PISS OFF

  35. bitch nigga says:

    wow i would love to do 1,000 to hate the browns, or pats… but i ACTUALLY dont give a fuck! your pathetic, and those are some sketchy reasons ha

  36. Pittsburgh sucks, colts suck. Browns….feel bad for them poor guys someday they will get theirs. and they have the best fan base DIE HARD FANS then any other team and i have move quite a bit in my day. But pats are way better then the colts anyday.!

  37. First, you sound like you are really uneducated, not have heard of Indy. 2nd, why do you care where they moved to? They were being treated badly and it’s the owners right to do what he wants with what he built, a great football team that has class, not some city that builds on greed. We are humbel people here, not disrespectful to those who visit our city. By the way don’t visit, we can’t stand trouble.
    BYE BYE!!!!! X DD

  38. This thread is about hating the colts…. I am also a hoosier and hate them! I pray every week that manning breaks his neck so i can watch the empty stadium and blacked out games! Colts fans are absolutely the worse fans in the NFL! I didn't know a single colt fan until 1999

  39. exactly. im from indiana too and no one wore any col blue until that 1999 season. i wish for manning to get hurt every week so bad he has to retire. this actual conversation happen to me this week and i got some laughs out of it. this happen in a class at indiana state.

    instructor: ur from indiana?
    me: yes
    random student: y arent u a colts fan then?
    me: well when i was younger they sucked and when they got good i didnt jump the bandwagon

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